Pogbumquaf Huglitlakbastcedmidhin Jabbaptim is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, caring chinchilla.

Pogbumquaf Huglitlakbastcedmidhin Jabbaptim created the planet Mars eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pogbumquaf Huglitlakbastcedmidhin Jabbaptim, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pogbumquaf Huglitlakbastcedmidhin Jabbaptim, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Pogbumquaf Huglitlakbastcedmidhin Jabbaptim's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Pogbumquaf Huglitlakbastcedmidhin Jabbaptim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about whales.

2. Never wear turquoise jumpers.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Pogbumquaf Huglitlakbastcedmidhin Jabbaptim on top of all buildings.

4. Never hurt dolphins.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.