Vilkikmut is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, kind jaguar.

Vilkikmut created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilkikmut, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vilkikmut, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vilkikmut's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Vilkikmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snails.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.