Zakgofsom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, duplicitous cobra.

Zakgofsom created the Black Eye Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakgofsom, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zakgofsom, he will turn you into a tree.

Zakgofsom's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Zakgofsom's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Zakgofsom loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

5. Always stare at clouds.