Pincapsom is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, grumpy hamster.

Pincapsom created the world three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pincapsom, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pincapsom, he will turn you into a dog.

Pincapsom's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Pincapsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not eat lentils.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.