Mapbastjabxinhotxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unselfish yak.

Mapbastjabxinhotxuck created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapbastjabxinhotxuck, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mapbastjabxinhotxuck, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mapbastjabxinhotxuck's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Mapbastjabxinhotxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill snails.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Worship no other gods but Mapbastjabxinhotxuck.

5. Do not covet oxen.