Yatbessarf is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, pitiless walrus.

Yatbessarf created the planet Mars two years ago.

If you believe in Yatbessarf, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yatbessarf, he will destroy your favourite star.

Yatbessarf's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Yatbessarf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.