Gartalbap is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, awe-inspiring zebra.

Gartalbap created an atom four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gartalbap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Gartalbap, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gartalbap's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Gartalbap's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never pour water over plants.