Gancenmif is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, selfish swallow.

Gancenmif created gold seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gancenmif, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gancenmif, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Gancenmif's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Gancenmif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Hide from red voles for they are unholy.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Erect five silicon sculptures of Gancenmif on top of important buildings.

5. Worship no other gods but Gancenmif.