Kemlistnart is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, tiresome pigeon.

Kemlistnart created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemlistnart, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kemlistnart, it will turn you into a frog.

Kemlistnart's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Kemlistnart's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Retreat if four monkeys approach from the east.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Always wear green.