Kabpomcip is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, confident gorilla.

Kabpomcip created the Large Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabpomcip, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kabpomcip, he will think nothing of it.

Kabpomcip's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Kabpomcip's Holy Commandments

1. Kabpomcip loves geese, so they must be honoured.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Kabpomcip on top of all buildings.