Jambab is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, merciless squirrel.

Jambab created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jambab, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jambab, she will turn you into a snail.

Jambab's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Jambab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never mention rats.

3. Worship no other gods but Jambab.

4. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not speak about oranges.