Nibtigsag is a god.

She takes the form of a large, stupid pigeon.

Nibtigsag created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nibtigsag, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nibtigsag, she will come to you in dreams.

Nibtigsag's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Nibtigsag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Worship no other gods but Nibtigsag.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.