Hatlenget is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, staggering dragonfly.

Hatlenget created energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatlenget, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hatlenget, it will turn you into a goat.

Hatlenget's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Hatlenget's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Do not speak about aubergines.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about doves.