Janmetneg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, fussy porpoise.

Janmetneg created the planet Saturn seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Janmetneg, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Janmetneg, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Janmetneg's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Janmetneg's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.