Fitbonktonk is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, duplicitous swan.

Fitbonktonk created the Sunflower Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitbonktonk, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fitbonktonk, he will turn you into a worm.

Fitbonktonk's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Fitbonktonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair yellow.

2. Always help hamsters.

3. Always wear indigo.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Run away if eight grasshopers approach from the west.