Veenladbantofhanfensinxem is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, proud dolphin.

Veenladbantofhanfensinxem created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenladbantofhanfensinxem, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Veenladbantofhanfensinxem, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Veenladbantofhanfensinxem's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Veenladbantofhanfensinxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not hurt capybaras.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.