Haphenvol is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unthinking hedgehog.

Haphenvol created Asia five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Haphenvol, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Haphenvol, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Haphenvol's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Haphenvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never look at stars.