Genmethigtin Madripsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sage crab.

Genmethigtin Madripsaf created an electron five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Genmethigtin Madripsaf, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Genmethigtin Madripsaf, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Genmethigtin Madripsaf's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Genmethigtin Madripsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never think about gravity.