Hogjenhug is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, passionate lion.

Hogjenhug created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Hogjenhug, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hogjenhug, she will turn you into a mouse.

Hogjenhug's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Hogjenhug's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not speak about gooseberries.