Nellarnpan is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, self-assured scorpion.

Nellarnpan created an atom two million years ago.

If you believe in Nellarnpan, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nellarnpan, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Nellarnpan's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Nellarnpan's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

4. Never feed coconuts to swans while wearing fawn kilts.

5. Manatees are not to be trusted.