Jarnfasfud is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tranquil crab.

Jarnfasfud created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnfasfud, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jarnfasfud, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jarnfasfud's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Jarnfasfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention cats.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. You must pray to Jarnfasfud four times a day.

4. Jarnfasfud must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never pour water over plants.