Gessrakflab is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, deceitful horse.

Gessrakflab created humanity eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessrakflab, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gessrakflab, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Gessrakflab's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gessrakflab's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Gessrakflab.

2. Never mention seals.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.