Begpadzid is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, uncaring dragonfly.

Begpadzid created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Begpadzid, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Begpadzid, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Begpadzid's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Begpadzid's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Begpadzid.

4. Begpadzid must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.