Mabcinbum is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, unfair cow.

Mabcinbum created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Mabcinbum, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mabcinbum, she will send you a sign.

Mabcinbum's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Mabcinbum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Run away if nine mites approach from the east.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Do not trade with those who eat corn.