Labtippopkenlapgun is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, merciless warg.

Labtippopkenlapgun created viruses two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labtippopkenlapgun, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Labtippopkenlapgun, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Labtippopkenlapgun's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Labtippopkenlapgun's Holy Commandments

1. Labtippopkenlapgun loves sheep, so they must be respected.

2. Do not hurt snakes.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must pray to Labtippopkenlapgun seven times a day.