Nartmabrag is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, compassionate tapir.

Nartmabrag created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartmabrag, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Nartmabrag, it will turn you into a sheep.

Nartmabrag's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Nartmabrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Nartmabrag.

4. Never laugh in the presence of dolphins.

5. Always take life seriously.