Bedlanjon Cetboglinquafbadbafvanyat is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, wise crane.

Bedlanjon Cetboglinquafbadbafvanyat created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedlanjon Cetboglinquafbadbafvanyat, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Bedlanjon Cetboglinquafbadbafvanyat, he will refuse to believe in you.

Bedlanjon Cetboglinquafbadbafvanyat's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Bedlanjon Cetboglinquafbadbafvanyat's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near hamsters.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Bedlanjon Cetboglinquafbadbafvanyat.

5. Never talk about gravity.