Ominlakpom is a god.

It takes the form of a large, impressive frog.

Ominlakpom created carbon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ominlakpom, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ominlakpom, it will jump up and down on your head.

Ominlakpom's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Ominlakpom's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight ants approach from the north.

2. Never run in the presence of ducks.

3. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Ominlakpom on top of important buildings.

4. Always treat rats with great respect.

5. Never play with disobedient children.