Gepwipflig Butquartsog is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, passionate salamander.

Gepwipflig Butquartsog created the Sun twelve years ago.

If you believe in Gepwipflig Butquartsog, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gepwipflig Butquartsog, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gepwipflig Butquartsog's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gepwipflig Butquartsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never wear mauve corsets.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Never mention porpoises.

5. You must love Gepwipflig Butquartsog.