Tiffobban is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, dishonest dove.

Tiffobban created gold two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tiffobban, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tiffobban, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tiffobban's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Tiffobban's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tiffobban.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not kill sharks.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.