Dittonyim is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, amazing tapir.

Dittonyim created the Milkyway five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dittonyim, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dittonyim, she will make you grow a tail.

Dittonyim's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Dittonyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dittonyim.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.