Tifzentarp is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, fast squid.

Tifzentarp created tapeworms three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifzentarp, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tifzentarp, it will boil you in a big pot.

Tifzentarp's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Tifzentarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Tifzentarp loves moths, so they must be respected.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Always help shrews in need.

5. Never run in the presence of tortoises.