Damtonkshavgeb is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, awesome donkey.

Damtonkshavgeb created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Damtonkshavgeb, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Damtonkshavgeb, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Damtonkshavgeb's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Damtonkshavgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight dolphins approach from the south.

2. You must never eat bananas.

3. Do not sit in public.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not make images of living things.