Quamdudwee is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, humorless dryad.

Quamdudwee created bats nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quamdudwee, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quamdudwee, he will come to you in dreams.

Quamdudwee's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Quamdudwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into cyan rooms.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Retreat if four hamsters approach from the west.

5. Always look after injured nematodes.