Tikbepjop is a god.

He takes the form of a small, compassionate dove.

Tikbepjop created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikbepjop, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tikbepjop, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tikbepjop's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tikbepjop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help mites.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.