Batlammap is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, grumpy goose.

Batlammap created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Batlammap, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Batlammap, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Batlammap's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Batlammap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises in need.

2. Never sit near squirrels.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help sick snails.