Hoghigfit is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, unjust tortoise.

Hoghigfit created silver five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hoghigfit, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hoghigfit, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Hoghigfit's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Hoghigfit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks.

2. Never hurt great tits.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Hoghigfit on top of all buildings.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not chop down trees.