Farruttal Jancumhog is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, kind goat.

Farruttal Jancumhog created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farruttal Jancumhog, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Farruttal Jancumhog, she will have a low opinion of you.

Farruttal Jancumhog's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Farruttal Jancumhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always help porpoises.

4. Do not hurt great tits.

5. Feed all hungry horses.