Komgessmum is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, clever zebra.

Komgessmum created the planet Jupiter four million years ago.

If you believe in Komgessmum, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Komgessmum, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Komgessmum's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Komgessmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to turtles while wearing cyan dresses.

2. Run away if three manatees approach from the north.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Always help great tits.