Wadnakhit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered scorpion.

Wadnakhit created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wadnakhit, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wadnakhit, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Wadnakhit's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Wadnakhit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs.

2. You must pray to Wadnakhit nine times a day.

3. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never paint your legs cyan.