Guncubmutdublatpigtifkab Midbesslag is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, egotistical turtle.

Guncubmutdublatpigtifkab Midbesslag created the universe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Guncubmutdublatpigtifkab Midbesslag, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Guncubmutdublatpigtifkab Midbesslag, he will not invite you to parties.

Guncubmutdublatpigtifkab Midbesslag's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Guncubmutdublatpigtifkab Midbesslag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to geese while wearing purple trousers.

2. Hide from black swans for they are unholy.

3. Do not take Guncubmutdublatpigtifkab Midbesslag's name in vain.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always stare at clouds.