Hapnartsas is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, all-powerful human.

Hapnartsas created the Sol system four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapnartsas, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hapnartsas, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hapnartsas' most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Hapnartsas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Put Hapnartsas first in all things.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Do not wear violet clothing.