Citgarzem is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, selfish otter.

Citgarzem created silver nine million years ago.

If you believe in Citgarzem, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Citgarzem, she will have a low opinion of you.

Citgarzem's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Citgarzem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never wear hats.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Retreat if seven badgers approach from the south.