Somfotvid is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, benevolent dugong.

Somfotvid created the universe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somfotvid, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Somfotvid, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Somfotvid's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Somfotvid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sharks in need.

2. Always help sick mice.

3. Always obey Somfotvid's priests.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never write about amino acids.