Tonkcumrull is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, happy raccoon.

Tonkcumrull created a down quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkcumrull, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tonkcumrull, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tonkcumrull's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Tonkcumrull's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Do not wear mauve clothing.

5. Never play with disobedient children.