Nancissfat is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, uncaring frog.

Nancissfat created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Nancissfat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nancissfat, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Nancissfat's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Nancissfat's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ducks.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not chop down trees.