Ripwabkikjip Stafnilltarfotbaggamveen is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, stupid crab.

Ripwabkikjip Stafnilltarfotbaggamveen created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripwabkikjip Stafnilltarfotbaggamveen, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Ripwabkikjip Stafnilltarfotbaggamveen, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Ripwabkikjip Stafnilltarfotbaggamveen's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Ripwabkikjip Stafnilltarfotbaggamveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not shave your chest.

5. Erect three carbon sculptures of Ripwabkikjip Stafnilltarfotbaggamveen on top of important buildings.