Toffubapp is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, smart weasel.

Toffubapp created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Toffubapp, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Toffubapp, he will turn you into a rock.

Toffubapp's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Toffubapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

3. Retreat if eight otters approach from the west.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.