Zigvadzen is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, omnipotent coyote.

Zigvadzen created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigvadzen, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Zigvadzen, he will turn you into a hamster.

Zigvadzen's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Zigvadzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

5. Put Zigvadzen first in all things.