Zakquamhud is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, wise jellyfish.

Zakquamhud created tapeworms two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zakquamhud, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zakquamhud, he will cry a lot.

Zakquamhud's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Zakquamhud's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Do not shave your legs.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zakquamhud.